Work. Good Work. Great Work. & Some More Work.

IMG_1120We take it for granted that work must be a major part of our lives—in fact, for many of us, life is focused on it. We define ourselves, and everyone around by the work we do, by our job roles. “So what do you do?”. And no prize for guessing that happiness is measured by how successful one is in his/her work.

Average of 70 hours a week, 48 weeks a year, since past 5 years—not including extra work hours and the time I spent resting from the exertions of my work life and changing my employers!

That was me! Yes you read it correct, WAS!

Coz I could no longer lie to me when I asked myself, “Is this really what my life should be all about?.”

Of course, I was fortunate to have jobs which were fulfilling, stimulating, challenging and which suited my innate skills. In my case, my job provided me the feeling of being alive, doing something with my life, intense stimulation of my grey cells. But still I chose to make the move from being employed to being unemployed and in a way still empowering myself, I had to argue with inner self and come to the conclusion that despite my job providing me the ‘flow’, work should just be an aspect of my life, rather than its defining feature.

Fortunately there’s something or the other on my plate to keep me occupied and going but not a single day passes on without self doubt. There are days when I haven’t stepped out of home or haven’t felt the warmth of the sun. Every Monday I miss the Monday Blues! And my receding bank balance tempts me to take up any job offer on the table!

But I had realised and had come to a conclusion that working relentlessly for days which stretches into years makes our lives narrow and constricted… I had we lost sight of adventure. There’s so much to learn in life, so many different ways to develop, so many experiences to absorb, so many activities to enjoy (including doing nothing), but while we spend so much time working and the fear of not letting the job go that it’s difficult to find time and energy for these.

The Origins of Work

History tells us that human beings lived as hunter-gatherers and their ‘main work’ was to simply to find for food. Work as we know it is a relatively modern activity. Life only really became difficult once our ancestors started farming followed by industrial revolution which involved labour, more work hours and extreme land/climate conditions and appalling wages.

Working conditions are infinitely better now, of course, at least in more economically developed parts of the world but we’re still living with the legacy of the industrial revolution, with a mistaken idea that work defines us and should be the primary pursuit of our lives. We’re still living as economic objects whose main value is what we can produce.

So,what’s the alternative, you might ask? If we didn’t work so hard, our economies would fail, and we would all be living in poverty. But this isn’t necessarily the case. In continental Europe, working hours are significantly shorter than in the US and the UK, and productivity is actually higher. Countries like Holland and Denmark are actually more economically successful than the US or the UK. Working less does not mean economic failure – the opposite may be the case. It may be that longer working hours just makes people tired and resentful, and therefore less productive.

And in any case, perhaps we need to rethink our whole relationship to economics. The modern emphasis on work is completely out of proportion, and harmful to our well-being.

One thing is for sure: if you spend nearly all your waking hours working, then it doesn’t matter whether you’re a millionaire businessman or a financial analyst, you’re not really so different from a  19th century factory worker whose life only has value in terms of the labour you produce. The only difference is that you have the freedom to change and to make your life more meaningful and fulfilling.

XoXo,

Shishoo

P.S : Blogged after a year and gotta admit it feels good & I love the new, clean updated #Wordpress

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Motivate Thy Self

At a time when I am stuck in a rut or just need some motivation and scroll down my FB & instagram updates, I eventually come across a quote which I see and exclaim, “Exactly!! So true.’

If you’re like me, you’ve also probably found yourself digging around for motivation for hours behind your computer/phone screen. Seems a little counter-productive right?

We all are unique. Our problems are unique. We all need to find our own motivation. That means getting away from our computer (unless you are reading my blog, then by all means, carry on). Most motivational posters and quotes are contradictory these days anyway.

Take a look at these for example:

2         1

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wait2         wait1

See, now aren’t you feeling conflicted?

What I am trying to say is that for every motivational quote there is an equal and opposite motivation quote.

We have to find out how to motivate ourselves with our own advice.

We are the best indicator of what works for us and what doesn’t. We are the best judge to know who should be a part of our lives and whom to distance out.

There’s always something in store for everyone… Face it, Cry out, Breathe, Smile and Carry On!

Happy Monday Everyone!

~Shishoo

Ramblings Of My Wandering Mind

IMG_1113Sometimes, I feel like if I give everything away- my thoughts, my fears, my feelings- that once that person decides to leave (which they always do at one point or another), I won’t have anything left to myself. It’s a different story that I end up giving everything to everyone; regretting it later. I love my best friends, and I have no earthly idea what I would do without them, but they don’t know everything about me, and sometimes, it’s really hard because I want to feel like I can tell them everything.

I’ve learned a lot this last year- who I am, who I want to be, what I want out of life, what my deepest fears are and what makes me so happy . There are still a ton of things that I have yet to learn, and for me, life is constantly showing me that I don’t know everything. I’m still learning. I’m still learning how to be a better person; how to be a better friend; how to be a better daughter. I’m not perfect- far from it.

All I know is that people should love you for your heart, not because of what you look like or the things that you’ve done. You shouldn’t have to get drunk or smoke or have sex with random people just so people will like you. If you show people your heart and how much you care about them, people will like you for you. And if they don’t, well it’s their loss. I think that one of the biggest things that I’ve learned this year is that there’s so much to people than meets the eye, and people are so much bolder and so much more beautiful than they give themselves credit for. Just remember, that sometimes, the way you think about a person, isn’t the way they actually are.

Consider that Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before he became the first democratically elected president in South Africa. Abraham Lincoln failed in business, had a nervous breakdown, and was defeated eight times in elections before becoming president. A boy born to a teenage alcoholic prostitute and an absentee father found himself in trouble throughout his childhood eventually growing up to be Charles Manson.

These examples are extreme, but they demonstrate the different routes people may choose when facing major obstacles. None of us are perfect, and we’re trying; constantly trying- and struggling- to make sense out of this crazy world. We’re expected to know exactly who we are and who we want to be, and what we want out of life. We’re expected to know whether we want that white house with the picket fence or how many kids we want; or even if we want to get married. There are so many struggles and so many pressures that constantly weigh down on us.  But the reality is; we all make mistakes. Every single one of us; I make one every day.

But the following words will explain how I look at my past that has shaped my present and will enhance my future:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

P.S: Blog lacks flow of thought coz guess My Wandering Mind Is Rambling

Cheers!

-Shishoo

Modiji ke darshan…

imageTo see and hear Mr. Modi : huge tick on the check list!!

Vibrant Gujarat Global Summit 2015 : What an extravagant grand summit. Only time of the year when my gujjuland witnesses thousands of people in suits, international delegates, hotels over booked, super tight security and people driving towards the capital of the state…
Mr Modi : What a handsome strong personality…
PM Speech : disappointing…

Even as some of the world’s most influential leaders spoke at the Vibrant Gujarat, it was Bhutan’s Prime Minister who stole the limelight and the maximum applause from the audience.

Calling Bhutan one of the world’s “smallest countries, sandwiched between two of the world’s biggest powers India and China,” and stating , “Forget competing with other countries, I know that the GDP of my country is less than the personal wealth of many of you in the room,” PM Tshering Tobgay, won my heart and clapping from the crowd which echoed for long. For me it became more of a Vibrant Bhutan function and he became the Modi of Bhutan!

I still remember my childhood days when my parents used to take me to Crossword on Sundays and I used to gape at all the books and toys around with my eyes wide open. My parents would then buy me one book or one toy coz at that time that’s all we could afford promising me another book the next month and I trusted them and waited for the next month.

Similarly I walked in the Mahatma Mandir with my eyes open staring at the grandeur, checking out the hot gora n goris, seeing the huge transition in Mr. modi as a PM from a CM and hearing every minister and delegate. I hope to go back to this summit next year trusting them to have fulfilled all the promises they have made to us, the common man.

P.S: Had to pen down my personal experience of the summit. The business aspect and the critical knowledge of the summit will be flooded in the tomorrow’s newspapers, so happy reading!

Also, plz disregard any typos or formatting errors as I have typed it on mobile and trust me it’s a pain in the ass!

Go Social this Navratri!!

Navratri!

For me it’s about nine nights of partying to my favourite music, dressing up in vibrant colours, dancing with friends and befriending new people. I go with my bunch of Garba enthusiast friends and our group gets bigger and bigger by the end of nine nights. It’s that time of the year when the entire city is out and its a perfect time to make new connects or amend past broken ones. I’ll be traveling down to my hometown, Ahmedabd specially for this once in a year, nine night long, Gujju Social Extravaganza called Navratri!

A welcoming smile breaks the ice. 🙂

“It’s neither about the make up (will wash out badly in ten minutes in the heat) nor about the backless choli (one gets tired of the overdose of naked backs); its all about the enthusiasm, festive spirit, openness to connect with new people and click group selfies to make the new bond more memorable.”

 Garba Social Tips:
  1. Select ‘Your’ kinda venues
  2. Dress comfortably
  3. Be yourself and stand out from the crowd
  4. Exchange pleasantries as all love a pleasant hi hello
  5. Phones fully charged to save exchanged numbers and click pics
  6. Fine lineof difference between flirtatious smile and a warm smile; maintain that difference
  7. Hangout post garba; perfect time to know more about each other
  8. Beware of eve teasers

Ahmedabad is a very small community and Navratri is the best time to make it a Well Knit Close IMG_2035Community, Watsay?

Also chick and read: My Say in Ahmedabad Times by Kalgi Patel

You know you are from Delhi when…

IMG_1621Delhi’s growing on me. Today I complete half a year in the capital city.

Delhi’s been good to be but more than that I’ve been good to and in Delhi! Working day in and day out Monday to Friday facing all the corporate politics and hogging, dancing, drinking and making friends over the weekends and making plans to visit home every month.

Gone are the days when I used to be surrounded by a crowd; now a bunch full of MY people keep me insane!

Here’s a window to my observation of the ‘Delhietes’ just for a good laugh! 

You know you are from Delhi when…

  • You see middle-aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke!
  • Men are good looking till they open their mouth or play ‘Honey Singh’ in their car.
  • You refer to East Delhi as ‘Jamuna Paar’.
  • Every second day there’s a discussion on Mumbai VS Delhi with you saying “ Delhi hai dil walloh ki”
  • You use the word “setting” or “jugaad” at-least once a day.
  • You don’t buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to use political contacts…
  • You have not visited either of – Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple. It is only for tourists, so Delhiites say.
  • You drink only on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday evenings. And try not drinking on Tuesday and sing ‘Maine Pi Nai Hai’
  • Treating a friend means – Daaru Shaaru te kabbab shabaab.
  • You ride on the cycle rickshaw in NOIDA (more popularly known as NEODA) – haggle over the price, but still pity rickshaw walla’s condition and give him what he asked.
  • You glare at people who call Gol Guppas as Pani Puri!
  • You always ask the vendor “Bhaiya yeh Gol-Guppe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?”
  • You call the waiter in the restaurant “boss” or “Pappey” & tack on “yaar” “bhai” to almost every sentence.
  • You describe practically every other person on the planet as “Vella”. (‘Idle’ or Nikamma in Punjabi).
  • You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.
  • You have at least two cars and a motorbike at home.
  • You’ll talk on high pitch on call in the women’s compartment of the metro beginning with, “Phir hena, biji ne kaha ki….”
  • You park your Car and take an Auto-rickshaw to Lajpat Nagar/Rajouri/ Kamla Nagar/ Karol Bagh. But CP, you don’t get parking space easily, yet you go always in your own vehicle.
  • And then you say apni Kanvense (conveyance) howe na ta badi Kanvinyance (convenience) hondi hai ji!!

 DESPITE all the good and bad……..You still Love Delhi.

Every One Has Bad Days! But the Good Time isn’t far away too!

DSC00677Everyone has bad days. Sometimes, we just don’t live up to our ideals. We make bad choices. We hurt people’s feelings. We have selfish motivations.

We don’t like it…but it happens. It happens with everyone.

So, what do we do about it?

We spend a lot of time talking about how to live well. We know we have to be intentional and focus on what’s most important to us but that requires a significant dose of personal responsibility. We have to be willing to acknowledge that we have to control ourselves and make good choices. We have to own our behavior.

That’s good.

The negative side is that we can tend to be really hard on ourselves when we act “less than our best.” In those moments when we realize defeat, but our attitudes are bad, it’s easy to feel like the sky is falling.

But it isn’t.

You’re having a tough time, but it’s not the end of the world…yet. You still have choices to make.

So, when you find yourself in these situations, here are a few things to remember that I have learnt from past personal experiences:

1- Stop it as soon as possible.

As soon as you notice that you are “not yourself,” slam on the brakes. Push pause and think about what is happening. Even if your emotions are demanding that you say something or do something, resist the urge. It’s difficult, ask me but the ruthlessness of human behavior hurts and crushes your moral more in doing so!

Why? So you don’t add to the drama. Which leads us to number 2…

2- Don’t make it worse.

I don’t know why we do this…but we often respond to our own personal failures by making further bad decisions. It makes no sense, but we do it. It’s as if we’re saying, “Oh well, I’ve already done something stupid…so #@%* it! Let me just do something else while I’m at it!”

This is never a good idea.

Or, at other times, we may feel stupid about what we just did, so our self-anger comes out and makes us do even dumber things. When we are faced with a pile of bad behavior, the worst thing to do is continue adding to the pile. It’s actually a natural outcome sometimes.

But, once you’ve paused to consider what’s happening, DETERMINE to fight your urges to add insult to injury. Stop giving in to the feelings that got you into trouble in the first place. Stop people from crossing the fence of your farm!

The smaller the pile, the easier the repairs. If we don’t do this, we will escalate the drama very quickly and regret it.

3- Don’t beat yourself up.

We waste so much time mulling over our past mistakes. Why? We know we’re not perfect. We acknowledge that intellectually, but then live as though we thought we could be.

I’m not suggesting that we shift blame or stop owning our behavior. I’m just suggesting that we own it, call it what it is, and then use our energy to correct our behavior.

Let’s not waste time mourning our perfect past. Let’s use our time and energy to change our future!

And, finally…

4- Make things right.

Whatever amount of trouble you caused to those around you, work to repair it. If you hurt your loved one’s feelings, apologize. I’m often amazed how resilient and forgiving my friends and family are when I own my behavior and let them know I care.

If you’ve wronged someone, do what you can to set it straight. You won’t always be able to repair the damage you cause when you hurt someone, but you can try. Remorse and regret lead to true change around us! It doesn’t make either of us small.

You have to learn from your failures. They will happen. The question is, “What will you do with them?”

And lastly as my strongest belief is, “You will feel better tomorrow!” It’s a hope in the foresight that you can look forward to always! There’s always a guiding angel! It’s a phase that will lead to a better more promising tomorrow that you will work for as it matters to you! Good time’s just a smile away! Just a hug Away

Good days don’t last for long and neither do the bad ones! Life’s a rollercoaster ride! And true happiness and fun and joy of being on this ride comes when you are with your loved ones! So hold on to the people you love and care as people don’t get tired of loving, they get tired of waiting, assuming, hearing promises and all the hurting! We eventually get tired physically and mentally of chasing things, dreams, ambitions and people who don’t feel yours when you are low and going through a phase!

This phase will go but unfortunately in bad times we choose to let go off OUR people who wont  So keep a check of your decisions! Of your beliefs! Of the changes you make! Of the work you do! Of the love you spread especially when you are not in the best of your best mood!

Everyone we meet has a story to tell, a struggle fought, a sadness in heart! Everyone of us are beautiful the way we are! In bad times we are the best as we are very vulnerable!! So make your bad day a lesson in life; cry it out, breathe, go for a swim, punch your friend, find your support system, abuse the shit out, blah blah blah in short do whatever suits you to let the anger and hurt out and just move on for a better tomorrow for yourself coz you owe yourself that! 

Cheers! Love You!

P.S : I’m still single!

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We live in a society that does not celebrate or encourage us to be our true, fully expressed authentic selves. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a little koo-koo and can be zaney, weird and crazy sometimes and toooo lovey dovey types…and I like it that way.

This rainy morning made me pen down, or say type down my thoughts on something that most people I know have but oversee it as a ‘normal’ phenomenon and take for granted but something that’s amiss in my life currently!

Love is want. Love is need.

Love is impossibly imperfect.

Love always pays the bills on time but forgets your anniversary. Love at dot of time will wish good morning & good night. It gets you frozen yogurt on the way home but leaves it in the car. It doesn’t write you poems or give romantic speeches but when you’re sad, it suddenly says that one right thing. It rarely thinks to buy you flowers but always thinks to plug your phone into the charger at night.

Love tries.

Love is forgiving. Love lets you get away with a lot. It grants forgiveness before you ask, but often times makes you say sorry anyways, because it’s good for you to be humble. Love knows it will hurt you too. Love fails, time and again, but believes every next minute is a new chance to get it right.

Love is forgetful. It forgets old words and old wounds. And even when it remembers, it also remembers to stay kind. Love has the worst fight of your life with you and then, right after, shares a cold coffee and splits a plate of chaat. Love understands your weaknesses. It doesn’t mock that you are scared of being insecure or you get cranky if you’re hungry. It knows you have to drink your tea really, really hot. It will expect you to complain about your burnt tongue later. It will be quiet when you don’t feel like talking. It will laugh uproariously at your lame jokes during a party to save you from embarrassment. Love is loyal.

Love is your cheerleader. It believes in you. It goes along with your crazy ideas of writing a book, launching a cafe and tries its best to help you achieve your visions. It will edit poorly written first chapters, eat inedible aaloo parathe and gasp amazed at your blobs of paint on canvas. It doesn’t hold it against you when you fail. It encourages you. But because, you need it sometimes, it will tell you to stop when you are being insufferable and cut short your pity party.

Love changes perceptions of beauty. Love is fond of love handles and dark circles. Love strokes your grey hair and remarks how distinguished it makes you look. Love sings, “I like big butts and I cannot lie” to your widening derriere. It knows that random chin hair become familiar friends, wrinkles and crow feet testaments to a life lived together. Love teaches you to find the ordinary, extraordinary.

Love is not a substitute for reality nor does it ask you to live in a more fantastic version of it because love lives real life. And in real life, love knows, there are good days and bad days. And a whole slew of so-so ones. Love gets through all of them, sometimes with style and pizzazz, other times with angst and bitterness. But it gets through.

Love doesn’t always make you happy. But it makes you better. Happy too, but also unhappy. Because love knows that its central function in your life is to help you grow. Growth hurts.  Every day, love changes you to become a version of yourself you didn’t know existed. Expanded. Stretched somehow. Love doesn’t ‘break’ your heart. It splits it open, so that more of what you need can enter.

Love is a choice. You make that choice every single day, every single minute.

Love is sacrifice, compromise, tolerance and a whole bunch of other scary words. It wants to leave you sometimes but it always remains. It wants to kill you sometimes but then imagines the subsequent loneliness. It turns away from you only to turn back again. It buries itself into the very core of you, so you don’t know where it begins or ends.

Love is a paradox. It is awkward and graceful. It is forced and natural, kind of terrible and absolutely hilarious. It is restful. It is wild. It is hurtful and healing. It is gentle and tough. It is confusion and clarity. It strengthens you and makes you vulnerable. It ties you down and helps you fly.

Love is fierce. It is very often decidedly mundane, mind numbing ordinary and easy to overlook, but still, if you know how to look at it, it’s really quite astonishing.

Love is beautiful, it is necessary, and if you allow it, instinctual, but it is never what you think it will be.

It is always much, much more.

P.S: Don’t worry guys, I am still single and ready to mingle!!

Life has been my biggest teacher!

Throughout my life I have met multiple people who have had a great influence in my life, who have taught me lessons of living!  My parents have been a great influence in my life, my maid who took care of me when my parents were busy with their medical career has also been a great influence in my life, all of my teachers throughout my education have had a significant impact on my life.

However, I think that my friends have impacted my life in a way that those others

who have influenced my life could not.  My friends have always been there for me through the good times and the bad.  I think that friends are often overlooked as being influential in our lives.  My friends are my peers!

If it was for the n number of people I’ve befriended and met, I honestly do not know where I would be, what I would be doing and certainly do not know if I would be the person I am today. People have picked me up when I was at the lowest of lows and brought me to the highest of highs.  They have taught me so many things that I could not possible begin to list all of them. And strangely today they are just my Facebook Friends! But that’s life! We haven’t forgotten each other, but new people have filled in the gaps with passing of time.

I started working at a very young age! Initially to fend for myself when my family was going through a rough patch and then when I found my calling in Journalism & Pr world! So, my seniors, colleagues and bosses are the most influential people by helping me find my strengths.  By finding out who I am, I have been enabled to express myself, I have been enabled to understand what I believe in and what I don’t believe in, I have been enabled to grow and mature into what I am today, and most importantly I have been enabled to live life happy in knowing that no matter what I am going through or what I may need in life I can always count on even a boss in this materialistic world to be there for me. Today my colleagues are my only friends in the city, teaching me something new even in the same boring routine, they make my life!

 People are the greatest treasure we can have in life, without them we are nothing but a lonely soul walking the streets, passing days and minting money.

I am forever grateful to everyone I know and have met, who have been such an influential part or my life. Everyday, you guys have taught me something! Everyone’s a teacher to someone, in some way or the other.

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Happy Teacher’s Day!!

-Shishoo

Reading newspapers.

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So what do you read?

Expected response was “Fiction, nonfiction, popular novels, autobiographies, etc.”

I said, “Newspapers and blogs.”

And I got a smirk that equaled to ‘Show off’.

But it’s true. Reading novels/books/novellas are hobbies; a hobby that takes the reader in for a journey with the characters and at the end of it turns of out to be the time to make a new buy.

In today’s evolving time and age, we have to know something of what is going on in the world, not only for our own satisfaction but also to be able to converse intelligently with our fellows. Nowadays, when all are more or less educated, almost everybody reads some daily paper or other. A man who never reads a newspaper cannot keep in touch with the times.

In my city, I see this missing. Kids will go through the fashion and Bollywood gossip column (columns spread \across pages nowadays); they do this seeing their moms do this. They see their dad flipping through pages only to reach the ‘share-bazaar’ page and the child feels “Oh! That’s the most important part of the newspaper!”

Agreed that people with different tastes look for different kinds of news in their newspapers. But the purpose of this medium of communication is to know what has been happening at home? What has been happening in other countries? In the paper we find the latest news of political doings and movements; or, if we are interested in sport, the results of cricket, football, hockey and tennis matches; and of the popular horse races, motor races, cycle races, and so on. Some have a taste for police news, and read the accounts of crimes, the capture of criminals and law-court trials. In these days, too, we turn eagerly to the news about foreign powers and the present international situation, and debate on the urgent questions of peace and war.

Yesterday’s paper was filled with gruesome death toll of Uttaakhand, Bodh Gaya, Egypt, etc ! Someone commented that “Aaj kal newpapers kitne depressing ho gaye hai!” But sadly that’s the truth, that’s happening around us! We are safe in our homes (touch wood); but we ought to know about whats happening elsewhere too and newspapers are supposed to convey the facts and not be like the television commercials where everyone’s infectiously happy and smiling!

  • Newspapers make me feel a part of the bigger picture, the world.
  • Opinions, editors speak, experts say make me help to think logically.
  • Online reading takes my major chunk of reading time! It helps me weigh my pros and cons and thus make me opinionated.
  • Blogs directs me to take the personal approach and relate to unknown people and their life.

Reading beyond books since an early age makes you YOU and not just an another person influenced by your day to day routine and family!

And as Bacon says: “Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, but to weigh and consider.”